I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
