It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
