I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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