Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
