called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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