im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
