I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
