Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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