if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
