Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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