your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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