i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
