There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
