Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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