why didn't you poke me back
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
