i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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