I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
