My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize