i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
