There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
