I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
