so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
