hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
