Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
