It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
