i just had sex bonerless
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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