but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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