I need help removing her.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
