grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
