I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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