Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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