He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
