I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
