I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize