oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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