you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
