i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
