are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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