I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
