Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what day is it and did you see me today?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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