im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
