To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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