dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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