I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
