its not stalking. its research.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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