we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
