I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
