This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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