Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
