Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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