My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
id be glad to
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
