We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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