Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
