do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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