Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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