I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize