so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
