i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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