Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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